"I'm Sooo Upset!!"

Have you ever felt this way? I have, and I don’t enjoy the feeling. It’s like I get so frustrated sometimes and get that feeling that I can’t stand. Sometimes it is when I feel crazy or come across situations I can’t control. Or maybe, like in more recent cases, I get upset when my ex provokes, or prowls into my world through a random text, an accusation, or a continued lie.

I thought I was all over with the feelings of anger after ending the marriage, but I find myself still needing to deal with the sin nature, and in particular the emotion of anger and bitterness.

Towards the end of my married life, I had become someone I did not know. I was angry. I was angry that I was in the situation I was in; angry that I couldn’t be enough for my husband to want only me; upset that I had to be alone; and resentful for all of it. This anger and bitterness came out of my mouth, my actions, and my emotions. Although I thought I had the majority of this anger under control, the underlying anger had rooted inside of me, and was taking its toll on me- physically and emotionally.

So now when I have those encounters and I feel the anger and bad memories arise in me, I try to take note of what the issue was that made me feel mad and figure out a way to work through it, as to not have the angry feeling about that particular thing again.

 

I know that there will be potential frustration in the future, but it will be my choice on how I allow it to affect me. As far as my ex anger goes, I still pray and hope that the love will eventually fade so that I will not continue to be hurt over and over, and I will no longer be concerned with anything that could negatively affect me.

What are your thoughts about this or how you have handled anger or hurt or bitterness?

Christmas, Single

This year is my first Christmas in nine years as a single lady. On top of that I am sick! Yes, I am now experiencing the feeling of being “alone” for the first time in nine years, with the feeling of physical misery. ;-) Although when I think about it, I am not sure that this is my first year of feeling “alone” around the holidays. And the sickness has almost been a way to keep my mind off of “everything”.

Before the divorce, if nothing else, there was the security of knowing someone was going to be sitting beside me and someone to put love into and open a loving gift from. Some may feel very alone during this time of year if they no longer have that significant other in their life, or maybe there is the joy of a new love after the hurt of the past. Either way, I think it is important to know that we are not alone.

I have my family who would do anything to make me feel loved, comforted, and amazing. I also have my God who has made it so much easier to be celebrating His son’s birth. I realized that even though I am “alone” I have never felt so comforted and haven’t felt surrounded by love and acceptance so strongly in such a long time. I am still recovering from being sick but am thankful to have made it through Christmas 2012 and now know that there are so many more new “single-lady” memories to be made, and I am so thankful that the best is yet to come.

Please feel free to share any encouraging words or ideas that you have thought of to help others. I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!!! 

Beautiful Creatures

This past week I spent some time out of town with my family, visiting extended family for my grandparents' anniversary party. During this time us girls decided to take a fun day and go to the aquarium in Gatlinburg. During this trip there were tons of creatures to see and admire. From "nemos" to sharks, and seahorses, and crabs- with everything in between. As I saw each magnificent sea creature I couldn't help but be reminded of how good my God was. The small details of a seahorse to the great size and mobility of a stingray were all put perfectly together to benefit that creature for its created purpose. He created each creature to look and be completely different from one another. The same applies to us. We are all created differently, with details and vastness that make us individually us.We are created for the purpose He has in mind.
It reminds me to keep my head up, because I am a creature of God. He took interest in my every detail.  As we can read in Psalm 139:13:

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb." (NLT)

God knows the purpose He has for us and the life events that will and have shaped us....... because He made us. God can, and will, take those "inner parts" of who we are and join it together with the experiences we have faced and use them to allow us to be all we can be.

I am so thankful that I am a beautiful creature of God and I hope you know that you are too! Don't forget how special you are!

About Me

Well, my name is now, again, Sarah Moore. I was born and raised in rural West Tennessee. I was born in December, 1986 and so, that makes me 26. I am the eldest daughter to a nondenominational Pastor and his lovely wife, my mother. Being the first-born allowed me my share of those first-born qualities that first-borns are so well known for. I like to think that I am driven and determined. I am a leader when needed and enjoy to take adventures in life, as long as they are not to far from reality . 

I enjoy having friends, but really only keep a few close ones, and I would not know what to do without them. I am currently working on my Master’s in Education for School Counseling and LOVE what I am doing!! After taking a couple years off from school after undergrad, I felt the Lord was really encouraging me to pursue the desires of my heart in working with students to pursue their goals, dreams, and future lives they wish to have while working through their present issues or doubts.

 As you may already know, I am divorced (as of summer 2012) and feel lead to share my story, along with my struggles as I have gone through and continue to go through the process of healing. I also feel that there is such a need for a voice for those in the first part of their adult lives who are dealing with divorce, moving out, landing a job, deciding on children or not, and finding the spouse the Lord has for them. It is a scary and exciting time for me and others who may be able to relate to my story. 

I just hope that I can become the woman the Lord has created to me and this His beauty can rise through my ashes. 

Divorce Recovery

 Two weeks after my divorce papers were signed, I was on myway home from an out-of-state trip from spending time with some of my bestfriends. As I came through town, a local church had their sign to display that they would be starting a Divorce Recovery class on Thursday nights. I was not a member of this church but had heard great things about it and since a graduateclass I was planning on taking had been moved to the Memphis campus, I had a schedule change that would allow me to go. When I decided to go-that was one step. Getting out of my car to walk in-a whole different ballgame. From encouragement from my mom and my friend Laura, I decided to walk in and put my pride away. 

I was met by two of the sweetest people I have ever known. They soon became very important vessels that would speak into my life and help me through this process, without feeling weird! I also met a small group of individuals who were willing to share their grief, loss, and tears with thegroup in order to help everyone. The curriculum used was Divorce Care. http://www.divorcecare.org 

We are now wrapping up the final couple of sessions of this course, and I am so thankful that the opportunity was available to be a part of this group and the lives of those in it.

I encourage anyone who has recently gone through a divorce, about to start the process, or even just in a separation to connect with others going through the same things. This will provide support and encouragement to you, even if you didn’t think you needed it. This link will give you more information about the particular curriculum/study used and how to find a local group for you to be a part of. 

I challenge you to reach out to others of the same gender, who are going through a similar situation and know that it is ok to be right where you are. The important thing is complete healing of your heart and your soul.