"Never Gone"

I haven’t written in a while. I am fighting disappointment over this but also but at the same time I have been fighting through what to share. There has been a lot going on that I wasn’t necessarily expecting. There are some things in life that you cannot share all of the details to, but because of this blog I have the ability to take the things I go through and turn them into a part of my recovery journey. After this I can only hope that this can also serve as encouragement to those of you reading~

So for today I am going to share a song that has really had an impact on me in the past and during times it just feels good to have the reminder that Christ is always there. I believe that the power of music is something that allows us to say and feel all the things that words cannot describe.

Below is the song “Never Gone” by Colton Dixon. I encourage you to read the lyrics and then click on the link to listen to the song. It made be cry to again realize that even through my downs and times of unknown, God is there, has been there, and has my life in His hands.

Be blessed and please feel free to share any blessing you receive in the comment section! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbWgiSPAcw

"Never Gone"

Lights off, a shot in the dark

We get lost when we’re playing a part

We lay blame like we know what’s best

It’s a shame…

We break when we fall too hard

Lose faith when we’re torn apart

Don’t say you’re too far gone

It’s a shame- It’s a shame

I’m still standing here

No I didn’t disappear

Now the lights are on

See I was never gone

I let go of your hand

To help you understand

With you all along

Oh, I was never gone

There’s space between our lives

Hard to face, but I know we try

To revive, bring it back to life

Don’t walk away

Don’t walk away

I’m still standing here

No I didn’t disappear

Now the lights are on

See I was never gone

I let go of your hand

To help you understand

With you all along

Oh, I was never gone

I never ever left you

Never ever left you, no.

He said I never ever left you

Never ever left you, no.

Jesus never ever left you

Never ever left you, no.

He sees us, even in the darkness

Now you know you’re not alone.

I’m still standing here

No I didn’t disappear

Now the lights are on

See I was never gone

I let go of your hand

To help you understand

With you all along

Oh, I was never gone

I’m still standing here

No I didn’t disappear

Now the lights are on

See I was never gone

I let go of your hand

To help you understand

With you all along

                                                                                         Oh, I was never gone

Friendship

You know that feeling you get when you get see someone you absolutely love to death that you haven’t seen in a while?

Isn’t it great!?

I have been able to have this wonderful feeling a few times this past week. One was a catch-up lunch after missing from each other’s world during the holidays. A second time was a surprise hello and hug with some great conversation, and then finally with out-of-town friends. These friends welcomed me into their home to stay for the week after asking about taking a trip to visit. Seeing these special friends puts me in a wonderful, comforting place full of love, variety, and sweet moments. 

I know that with all my close friends there is a security that I have in knowing that they love me for me. They love me through my mistakes, relationship drama, times when I am not a great friend, and my journey through life. With good friends in your life it makes living a whole lot more doable. This makes me think about friendships in general and how there are just some that are irreplaceable. Each friendship is different, but yet has a significant place and value in life. Without one of my friends in particular, I might feel more “un-normal”. With another I am able to see life more positively, and another has a gift of encouragement. There is the friend who holds you steady through a rough time and a friend who gives you the confidence to make it through another life step. I am so thankful for the many wonderful people God has placed in my life. They are people who love me and invest in me. Great friends truly are the family that we get to choose for ourselves!

Think about life. Are there friends in it who you couldn’t live without? Have you told them how much you appreciate them? Are there acquaintances that you wish could be closer? Begin to develop that friendship-it takes time. Are there even those people who are in and out of your life, maybe for a particular moment, or even throughout? Think about the lessons you may be learning from those individuals and how they can positively impact you and visa versa. It’s important to surround ourselves with good friends who can encourage, love, hold accountable, and share life.

Don’t forget to tell the people in your life how important they are to you. Make time to share a cupcake, do a lunch date, or even just talk on the phone for a few minutes. Whatever it is....make time for these God-given friendships. 

The Next "One"

 How do you know when you are ready for a new relationship? This is something that I was so worried about as a teenager, and then after my divorce, as a 25 year old. I had just gotten divorced from a 9 year relationship, and was stressing over the next “one”. It seems so silly now (6 months later), but at the time, I just wondered how I would know when I was ready or how I would know whom the right one would be. Would there even be a right one?

 

Because of my personality, I just like the idea of knowing and having a “plan”, or at least a security of thinking I know. Many of you might relate. While others of you may never worry about tomorrow. I wish I could be more like you all at times. I know that marriage is something I want and I believe it is something Christ wants for me again, but it will come at His perfect time.

He has showed me that there is no need to rush because of thoughts going through my head such as: “I am getting older, what about kids?” “My friends think I need to get back out there.” “Will I be the odd ball out?”

But do you know what? It doesn’t really matter.

God wants me to be full of Him and then when I am at the perfect place He will place that special someone in my life- and I will be ready. I thought I was ready while getting to know a really good guy recently and realized all of the sudden that I was absolutely not. It wasn’t something this guy had done or not done, but something I realized about myself. This overwhelming feeling of “oh my goodness, I can’t do this!” hit me and I realized that I don’t want to have to, actually can’t, care about a guy’s emotions, fears, or heart at the moment. Although this sounds horrible, I realized it was true. I am not ready to be someone’s love because I am not ready to love a man the way he would deserve. My heart is still being worked on and healed and I will continue to carry on with the process in order to present my future love my whole heart and love him as Christ calls us to love.

As far as dating goes.....well let’s just say that I am not looking to date any time soon, but will continue to date my “Jesus” until He sends along the right man!

One Year From Now

                                     Describe the woman you want to be spiritually in one year.

I was reading A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George and the chapters I was reading were about prayer, and quiet times with God. Although there are many things that could be shared, there was one particular paragraph that grabbed my heart. It was this section of her book:

Dream of being a woman after God’s heart! – Motivation is key when it comes to nurturing a heart of devotion, and dreaming helps motivate us. As a wake-up call to the seriousness of daily life and to find fresh urgency about your walk with the Lord, describe the woman you want to be spiritually in one year.

Let your answer put wings on your dreams.

So this prompted me to think. What kind of woman do I hope to be in a year, but not only in a “worldly” sort of way, but the kind of woman I want to be spiritually. I am in the middle of so many changes and choices that I may not be able to fully grasp or know, but one thing I have control over is how my spirit grows and deepens in the Lord.

In one year, the kind of woman I want to spiritually be would be someone who has an open heart for the concerns of others. She would be devoted to her personal time with her savior and making no excuses for a lack of time with Him. I hope that in one year, I will have many praise reports of God’s grace, mercy, and guidance, and how it has been shown in real ways in my life. In one year, I hope that I am in the place of worship that I know God has called me to be, and doing it with a broken and contrite spirit before Him. I hope that I am able to touch lives around me in a way that can only be explained by God and the hope that He gives me.

So.....

Take the time and think about and describe the woman you want to be spiritually in one year.