During this…...

I woke up Thursday feeling sick with a sore throat and achy ears. I had been trying to fight off the seasonal sinus junk with Vitamin C and water, but needed medical intervention (awesome shot...lol). By the way, did you guys know that a “Sinus Cocktail Shot” is a mid-south thing?! The nurse and doctor thought I was crazy! Be thankful!!!

So I scheduled to go to the doctor and got both of my jobs notified. That morning also came with news from a loved one that was both happy and extremely sad.

My last post discussed a possible future with a special guy only if things were worked through. I asked for closure or resolution- and closure I was given. That final knowing that heartbreak is upon you......... even knowing I’m ready and needing to move on, is still something that weighs the heart. I had been working on emotional detachment and hadn’t been in contact for weeks and weeks, so it was a bittersweet day.  

After spending the morning resting and dealing with those emotions, I got ready, went to the doctor, got my shots, and decided on some retail therapy. When in doubt- shopping usually helps!! I made a leisurely trip to the mall to shop for a few needs, and even a few “wants”.  After the ride back home jamming out to the radio (one of my favorite things to do!! I know a little dorky), I had dinner in and a night of reflection.

Earlier in the day, as I was texting my sister, one of my best friends, and my mom, I was encouraged, loved, and energized. Reminded of the relationship I deserve; reminded of the pain I may be by-passing; and reminded that there is a plan for my future, but also my single life.  As shared, I have a desire to ultimately be married. I think marriage is indeed one of the greatest gifts that we humans can be given, if appreciated correctly. And although I feel this way, I do not want to marry just anyone or rush into things for the sake of it. I want it to be right. Passionate. Full. Loving. I want my friendships and relationships to be no more and no less than they should be. I want to love myself, even in those times I fail myself by feeling lonely. I need to remember that God does have a plan for me in this time of singlehood. He has a plan for my future and the man that will be the God-formed partner in this life journey.

I want to share the last text message that my mom sent me. In the past, my mom and I have never been really close, but the past two years, we have really become more than we have ever been. I am so thankful for her wise words, her love, and reflection of Christ that she lives for so many to see. Her wisdom of not putting my emotions of love, etc. away is probably my favorite part, on. This is something personal to me, but something that I think could speak to someone else too.

Right now, I am hoping to try to look at my single life in a different light. I’m so ready for new things, confirmations, and yes, ultimately meeting an amazing man. Who knows........could be anytime.....but until then, I am thankful that I have the love and support of friends and family. I have personality traits that make me that independent, head-strong Sarah that I have always been, and I have my education, a roof over my head, and a vehicle to drive.  I am living in a new place, meeting new people, and experiencing great new things!!! Why should I worry?! I am reminded of the song “Titanium” from a couple years back that my sister told me was the song she thought of about me. I’ll take it! So many things we all go through, and so many things we will continue to go through.

Hi. I’m Sarah. Divorced. Single. Christian. Graduate degree. 27 years old. Full of life. Independent. First-born. Low-Maintenance. My friends and family are very important to me. Love to sing, paint, travel, and try new restaurants. I love music. Can sometimes stink at making decisions. Impatient. Not easily stressed. Drama-free. Looking for real. Appreciates gentlemen. Believes there are such things as “fairy tales”. Can’t wait. Choosing to find my purpose in singlehood. Nice to meet you.

A small blurb for someone’s life is ridiculous and yet refreshing, all at the same time. Think about it. What would yours say? Are you fulfilling your purpose for the season of your life you are in? 

Thanks for letting me share and for just letting me be me.

- S

Peace. Love. Happiness :-)

There are so many things that I feel I could write about, as well as so many things on my mind. I am choosing to write what I am because, the public sharing and scripting of my thoughts and feelings has been found to provide a release and an intimate support, in a weird way J

I have been in GA for a little over six weeks and have had so many amazing, fun, educational, full, scary, nerve-wracking, and exciting moments. And although there are many things that I am going to share about all of the awesome things going on, this post is going to be one that is more real and raw.

The quest for inner peace is one that many of us know the answer to- Christ. What happens when you know this, and feel that you can’t quiet seem to catch a break from those in your life who seem to have the goal of trying to disrupt that inner peace?! The peace that I have in knowing that I am where I’m supposed to be, but yet there are things I want to see so badly some to a resolution or fruition, has been making my head spin a little and my heart somewhat ache.

With that being said.......

My ex-husband and I are still dealing with one last bit of business together of selling our home. This keeps us in random contact every once in a while. Since moving, I have heard from him for emotional outbursts, past hurtful consequences, and drama that he is still keeping in his life. This wears me down!!! This is one of the reasons that I was so ready to get out of the area. I don’t want to run into him, or see him, or have to be the figure in his life that I have always been – a second mother. The most recent conversation was one that ended with me in a fluster!!! Even though this is the case, I can’t help but wish the best for him. As I have explained to a friend, the hopes that I had for us for so long, even after divorce, have just been things that I refuse to get back into, and an attempt to guard my heart.

While in the quest for love while trying to guard my heart, I also found my heart broken not long after moving to GA. This amazing man that I care for so deeply, is in a battle of his own, that he must work through in order for us to have any chance of a future. Because of this, I had to say goodbye. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I still have a naïve hope that it might could still be. At first, I felt nothing. I knew we were probably going to talk, etc., but the past week or two has been really tough on my heart. I miss him. I know he misses me. I had to ask him not to talk to me because it just hurt too much. I’ve realized that I have now had my heart broke for the second time. It’s no fun. Do I still have a hope for this amazing man and I? Yes. But, I also need to stay realistic. I want to be open to new experiences and the love that Christ has in store for me. I want to be the most amazing person I can be in order to receive the most amazing person at the most perfect of times.

I’m hurting but I’m healing; I’m missing my friends, but I’m meeting some really good people; I long to be near my family, but I keep them close through communication and thoughts and prayers; I’m ready for an all-out kind of love, but I’m loving myself more and more.  

Peace- such a simple concept. Love- something we all long for. Peace in the absence of love or love in the absence of peace? Not so sure it’s easy......... These are the things on my mind.....these are the things on my heart........shout out a prayer for me if you think of me! Here’s to an amazing summer of many amazing memories, experiences, and full of peace and love!!!!

Until next time ~ Sarah  

Mimicking the Waves

Yesterday was a rainy day here on the island. 

(It made for a great day off! I have recently gotten a part-time job doing something that I swore I would never do again; serving!! It’s crazy to me, but at the same time amazing money to get me started here, and a great way to meet new people!)

Anyways…….. the rainy weather made for a restful and productive day. It was last night, as the temperature began to drop some, that I heard the tree branches and palm leafs blow in the cool wind, that I thought I heard something. The sound that I heard was the sound of the ocean. The thing was though, that it wasn’t the waves rolling in and out, but a mimic of this sound portrayed by wet leaves and branches that were being gently tossed in the wind. It was so calming and nice to hear the “waves” from my bed and to know that this was something small that God probably designed for those rainy days when the sound of the waves couldn’t be appreciated as they should be. 

In writing this and thinking through these things, I was hit with something that calls me out; Something that calls out all Christ-followers.

On the “rainy days” of the world; in the “rainy days” of the lives of those around me; and in my own “rainy emotions”, what, and whom am I mimicking. Am I creating an appreciation or joy for anything?! When there is no appreciation for the everyday life as it should be and there is no “sunshine” in the lives of the myself or those I know, why not mimic peace, beauty, consistency, power, and love?! 

These are amazing things to think on and live on. I am so thankful for the sound of waves on a rainy day and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to mimic the characteristics of my Savior for the benefit of others, and myself, just as He intended.

Think about it. - S

The Big Move!!

Well........it’s official!!  I now live on the east coast. Specifically, Tybee Island in Savannah, GA!!

I have been in a time of transition and in need of personal changes, as I may have mentioned before. I graduated with my masters in education in December, wrapped up my necessary duties of past business, and finally have the house ready for the market. I need to now enter into the next chapter of my life, and what better way to do so than with a big change. 

~The view from my bedroom~

Well, this move is one of those things that I have wanted to do, and am now able to. Since the first visit down to visit friends a couple weeks after my marriage was over, to my past visit a month ago trying to decide on making the final decision to move, I have fallen in love with the city and the atmosphere of Savannah. The final choice for Tybee Island is my three-block walk to the beach J I have always loved the beach and find a sense of peace being on it.  Getting into the groove of living the beach life shouldn’t take long!! And yes, it’s ok to be a little jealous...lol... The friends and family I am leaving is the hardest part of the move, but I know that we will create new ways to stay in touch. The housemates that I have been blessed with already make me feel so "at-home" and a part of the family!! I'm so thankful for that.

So when people ask me “Why Savannah?”, here are my answers:

                                                                   

Because I can J
Looking to start over
Taking a time to re-center
 Love the city

 Love the beach....did I mention that I am 3 blocks from it?!!?
I have no children, spouse,  house, or job here to “stay for”
Why not?!

If you wonder what I’m doing........well, I’m living life!!! Loving one journey at a time, while seeking the Lord for direction, and searching myself along the way.

Stay tuned for the new, growth-inspired, island life of Sarah Moore.