Discipline and Boundaries

Yes, the title seems heavy and a tad bit burdensome.  It has been a while since I have written. It’s like I have had a block; a wall, that has kept me from being able to take my feelings and emotions and truly work through them enough to get them into words to be able to write on a sheet of paper. So here I am, having some sort of a release to be able to express what I need to and feel the way that I should.

This past week has been one that I am not even sure I can explain in a way that will truly describe the changes, the occurrences, and the feelings that have happened to me, or went through me. I know this sounds a little crazy, but know that it is all real and I didn’t even realize it until after it had already began.  The discipline and boundaries have been my security.

I have been in what I would call a state of “limbo”. I am not sure where my life may truly be. Will I stay here? In West TN? In the U.S.?  Will I be able to find the perfect job at the preferred time?  Will I know what is right? I haven’t been faithful to a church in a few months and can only give the excuse of not connecting and not wanting to begin to pour my life into a place when I might just leave when I do figure out “the next step” /”place”, for me. Don’t get me wrong, I think church is a super important part of a Christian’s walk, but is still a part, and I have had times with my Savior. – Ok, now that that was said.....lol....I can go about the rest of my sharing. I have tried to find out more about the world, different people, how I look at my goals, how I see me, future-tense, and how I choose to live, love, and share life.

Over this past month, I have been able to experience many things that have made me happy, sad, disappointed, and aware. I have been truly deciding on the boundaries that I need to set in all aspects of my life and due to the discipline that the Lord recently gave me, and the life of discipline and boundaries He is rekindling inside of me, I am encouraged. Along with these things, I also had a day this week that I can only describe as being put to sleep by the Lord, almost as for a transformation to take place in the absence of my consciousness.

I am so excited to have had my Lord love on me and do a work on me in the midst of my unknowing and in the midst of figuring out true boundaries. These boundaries are for my own good, understanding and encouragement in becoming the Sarah that I know God wants me to be.