Weekend Warring

This weekend has been a weird one. I’ve had so many emotions, and moments; and it has rained ALL weekend! I spent a lot of time sleeping, and other time preoccupying myself with movies and online browsing. I know it seems ridiculous. I would have normally spent most of the weekend with the man I just ended a relationship with. I have tried to turn my brain off and not think of all the good, and all the boxes that were checked. But, I also had to try to make myself see all of the things that the rose colored glasses didn’t allow me to see previously. I have read numerous articles and opinion pieces on dating a non-Christian, as well as sought counsel to try to gain perspective and some confirmation on my decision. I have to stand firm on the faith that if we are suppose to be together in the future, and this split was a mistake, then God will make it happen again in His perfect timing. I also have to believe that as “perfect” as I thought this relationship could have been, if it was not what God has for me, then there is a future bond that I can’t even begin to imagine and a story I couldn’t create in my wildest dreams. SO STINKING MAD that I had to give up a perfectly great guy, but I’m having to do this because I must go with my convictions, and the intuition that we weren’t meant to be together.

Here are a few bits of inspiration that I have found to be encouraging:

                                                                                          

                     

  “No matter how deeply and faithfully you love the wrong person; it will always leave you unfulfilled. It is perfect love which casts out all fear and doubt." 

I should have recognized that all of my relationship insecurities and fears were there because it wasn’t the perfect love I was supposed to be involved in. No matter what he did, or how much we talked, there were still insecurities on my end, and I think a slow blocking me out on his.

For those of you who have reached out to me- I am so appreciative. I am thankful to have concerned and loving people like you in my life to try to help make things seem a little brighter. I wasn’t extremely social this weekend, but I will take you up on those offers to hang out soon. I am also so grateful for the prayers. I feel that I am at a pivotal point in my life and within my choices and heart, so if I cross your mind, please definitely shoot up a prayer for me.

I can only hope that I am strong enough to continue in this molding of my heart and my life into that which I know Christ longs for me. I hope to write soon about the amazing experience I had in service this morning; how I was reassured by my Savior of His presence- even though I am far from deserving.

I know this is a space of release for me, but hopefully there’s something shared that can strike a cord for someone else. Wishing you all a great week!

- Sarah