Monday

Have you ever had one of those Mondays? The kind of Monday that is infamous for everything going wrong? The day tends to carry ridiculous emotions and an assumption that with each hour, it is surely as bad as today can get! Well, last Monday was one of those for me. It took me almost an entire week to get over the craziness. As I embark on a new Monday and a new week, I can finally release the oddly terrible Monday that I had last week.

Last Monday I woke up with the amazing reminder that I am woman! So, as Mother Nature can do, she decided to kick my butt! I hurried out of the house that morning, as there was an inaugural event to be held at work. As many workweeks begin, there are things from the weekend to catch up on. But little did I know that the one planned event, was far from “together”, and that attacks would be made on a co-worker bright and early.  Let’s just say that I felt so irritated and all things that could come up did; frustrations arose; and everyone needed a play-by-play!! It was not the week to disturb my chemical balancer! Lol! I absolutely only stayed until 5:00pm that day, as I was ready to unwind with a glass of wine and some of my favorite shows!

Little did I know, that not long after I arrived home, I would find out through a third party, that one of my best friends is possibly making one of the worst decisions of her life by committing to subject herself to a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship. A man that, as she promised me, she would make prove that he was truly a different person than the first 4 months of their relationship. A couple months are not a testament to someone’s character and personality. It is a facade and manipulation of emotional power. I absolutely broke down. I cried with devastation of the complete lack of seeing reality- realizing that the only hope is for things to get worse or for God to step in. It’s not a matter of liking a guy or not, but seeing the way that a friend is treated by that guy, determines one’s opinion. I cried because I know that if it was right, I would heard from her- We’re best friends!!!! Love is supposed to be amazing! An effortless feeling that doesn’t change who you are, but allows you to thrive even more into the person you are designed to be!!! If you’re reading this please, please pray for a positive movement.

I couldn’t shake it. I haven’t felt that low in a long time. The crazy workday, the cramps, and then the hurt feelings and heavy heart- I was then assured that I do, in fact, still have the ability to cry. And that’s what I did. All at once, my past scars ached, my future desires seemed impossible, friendships that meant so much hung in a balance, and I missed home; I missed the feeling of security; I missed being a married entrepreneur who was the strong one for all of my friends and family. It was at that moment that I felt the same defeat and helplessness that I had felt a few years prior, and I had nothing to do but let it out- Crumble before my Savior and trust that, as in the past, I would be picked up from the mess. With swollen eyes and burst blood vessels in my face, I couldn’t stay awake one more minute. I went to sleep and decided to once again, rely on my faith. The faith that my Jesus loves me, and my friend more than I can conceive, and just put my hope in that.

After a Monday like that, I decided that the remainder of the week was going to only be better- and thankfully, every day was a little less emotional, I felt a little less defeated and I continued to keep a “peace”. I also probably need to publicly apologize for anyone who might have fallen victim to my presence on that Monday :-) 

I am so thankful for the love that I have had the opportunity to experience in my past, the friends who are forever true, my siblings and my parents who have a sixth sense when it comes to each other, and for the covering that I know is there. I am thankful for the future love that I know I will eventually have the privilege of experiencing, the close friendships, and the joy that comes in the morning (Psalm 30). Are you singing that song in your head now?! It’s soo catchy and soo great!! Even in this emotional state, I will not be defeated. I will hold on to hope for an awakening for my friend, and trust that the desires of my heart are not forgotten J

Cheers to Monday! So glad that there is only one in each week! Haha!