Woman in Progress

 With the hardships and joys of life, we live, learn, and continue on. I originally wrote this post in March of this year. It was on my mind then and I believe came out just the way it was supposed to. As I have dealt with judgment, or failing, or the stresses of life, I ran across this writing and realized how perfect it was for me; it is an encouragement- for such a time-again!!! It's a reminder of the journey that I am on and the forgiveness that I have been given for times when I was…..well…human. 

I have had the story of the woman at the well in my  I originally was taking it in a different direction, and still may do so in the future, but for now this is the way I feel that my Lover- my Savior is reaching me. I would like to share it in parts, as there is so much to be taken from this story found in John 4:1-30.

As seen in John, chapter 4, the story begins as Jesus asks a Samaritan woman to fetch Him some water from the well that they are both at. 

He is alone because the disciples are out getting food. She is

shocked that a Jewish male would ask anything of a Samaritan woman because in these times it was looked down upon for Jews to deal with Samaritans in any way. It is as this moment when He says that if she knew who He really was, she would be the one asking for living water. She questions Him on how “living” water from Him is better than the water was for Jacob.Jesus answers to her saying: 

“Whomever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whomever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

I am going to stop here. The first thing that caught my attention about this is that Jesus befriended and pursued the unlovely and unlikely heart of a Samaritan woman. He didn’t see her for who she was at that point, but for whom He knew she was created to be. He saw her through eyes of grace, mercy, and love. This amazes me!! It’s at this point that I see myself in that Samaritan woman. Going about life like normal with a knowledge of “the Father Jacob.....and his sons” and teachings that I was raised by, but yet not seeing the Savior right in front of me; The Christ who is asking for a little water and in return wanting to give me everlasting life.

What is this living water and everlasting life that Jesus shares with her?! I believe it to be the overwhelming love He has for her, as well as people in general. I think that God being love, it is the living water that He gives. Love covers a multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8). From there it is a grace, a peace, a mercy, a joy, a satisfaction, a kindness, and a source that never fails. Those who ask for this everlasting and life-giving “water” are then given such a contentment and satisfaction that the joy arises and the “water” flows throughout a person’s life; peace in every area; love to those they come in contact with. It is these things that then attract others to them; to Christ in them.

Why do I allow myself to just have the head knowledge without seeing what is right in front of me?! I haven’t accepted Christ’s love for me in so long, because I know that I haven’t always made Him proud. He wants me to be honest with Him, come to Him, and then accept what He has to give to me. He has asked for so little from me and He not only wants to give the gift of heaven, but of a living well from inside of me.

Love. Assurance. Peace. Hope. Faith. Mercy. Joy. Grace. Kindness. Freedom. Salvation.

With all of this...... this is my prayer. 

Lord help me to see with your eyes, feel with your heart, and love with your hands. Please forgive me for relying on my head knowledge and not seeing You in all the places you have shown me. I want the living water that only you can give, as I know that it keeps me from wanting any longer. I want to be quenched by You and You alone. Thank you for seeing me, not as the world may, but as who You know You created me to be. This is the true everlasting life that I ever hope for. Knowing that in You I am whole. In You I find acceptance and grace. Please continue to do the work you have begun in my life. I know I will probably fail from time to time, but I refuse to be conformed to that failure.  I take your ‘living water’ and ask for your plan. Thank you for loving me at times I am unlovely.

Your humbled daughter, Sarah 

Cultivation

It’s been forever since I have written on this blog!!! I feel like life has been going by so fast, that I haven’t been able to catch up on certain things, such as writing. Soooooo…….the past three months have been filled with lots of great things! First off, I love my new job at the Tybee Island YMCA!! I am the Membership & Sports Director and I have a wide range of roles and responsibilities that keep things interesting, diverse, and enjoyable. I couldn’t ask for better co-workers, flexibility, and respect. I have met so many other wonderful people on the island and at the Y that it is truly beginning to feel more and more like MY home.

I’ve made some great friends, and hope to continue cultivating  these relationships and new friendships.  This has been a lifesaver, as several of my best friends and I are not necessarily “present” in each others’ lives right now. Those ladies, I do miss, I must say. And I know that there are some friends who choose to accept you, some that pick up after time apart as if nothing changed, there may be one who is not able to be emotionally present and some that may have just been sweet blessings during particular times of life. Who knows?  I know I am grateful to have the life I have and the loved ones, new and old, that I do have in it!!!!

Go make plans with a friend, shoot them a text, or just give them a big squeeze next time you see them!!

With that being said, I am going to leave you with this beautiful quotes

 ~ Sarah

Here I Am!!

As I have been told, and now realize, it has been a while since I have posted anything. I think there are a couple reasons that I haven’t. One has been that I have been pretty busy and then the second is that I haven’t felt inspiration to write.  Well, I have a moment of inspiration to write, for all of you who take the time to read, and this is where I will begin.

The recent past has been very busy for me. I made a week-long trip back home to TN. This trip was such a good chance to see loved ones, take care of a couple things, and I couldn’t help but visit MY things....lol..... It was this trip back home to TN that helped me make another important life decision. I made up my mind to stay in GA. When I got back from TN I had a second interview for a Director’s position, here at the YMCA, and was offered the job! So, of course I accepted and am settling into the fact that this will be my new home for the near future.  I am so excited about this and can’t wait to fully immerse myself more and more into the Y and the Savannah cultures.

It’s hard to believe that the summer is almost over and before we know it, another year will have passed. I am absolutely amazed at how life has turned out so far and continue to try to seek the best for whatever may be ahead. I’ve made some questionable choices, but I’ve also made some really good ones. I can only hope that I keep learning and loving through this life I’m given.

Finally, I will close out with girly stuff….. The inspiration to write was one of frustration and almost sadness. A wondering of why some things are the way they are, or why I seem to be the girl who helps guys work through some issues in order to find their perfect happy? Marriage ends and a year later he goes through recovery. First serious relationship after divorce, and it becomes perfect timing after having moved closer, for him and a past girlfriend to truly be together now that they are closer and available.  My last serous relationship was with a man that I thought was my knight in shining armor. The relationship and the connection, the conversations, and the passion for life were all there. The fact was that this knight was possibly only separated from his wife, had two children, and really did end up listening to me about figuring things out in order to be with his babies or find a way to live. You can guess what happened. He decides to go to therapy with his ex and they seem to be renewed. Yes, this is my love life. Right now I am in a phase of wanting someone really close and serious, but just not sure I’m finding it. I go on dates occasionally, but kind of over it in a way. Can't wait to be the last girl in some guys' life!!!!!So that’s that! Haha!

So here I am, about to start a new career and I plan on pouring my heart into everything I do there and become the best at it. I also am excited about singing with a chorus and playing volleyball in a local league. My future is in the palm of the hand who created me, and I can sleep at night knowing that to be true. As always, shout out a prayer for me if I ever cross your mind, just as I will do the same for you. I hope you all have an amazing weekend, as I plan on sitting on the beach!!!

- Until next time, Sarah 

During this…...

I woke up Thursday feeling sick with a sore throat and achy ears. I had been trying to fight off the seasonal sinus junk with Vitamin C and water, but needed medical intervention (awesome shot...lol). By the way, did you guys know that a “Sinus Cocktail Shot” is a mid-south thing?! The nurse and doctor thought I was crazy! Be thankful!!!

So I scheduled to go to the doctor and got both of my jobs notified. That morning also came with news from a loved one that was both happy and extremely sad.

My last post discussed a possible future with a special guy only if things were worked through. I asked for closure or resolution- and closure I was given. That final knowing that heartbreak is upon you......... even knowing I’m ready and needing to move on, is still something that weighs the heart. I had been working on emotional detachment and hadn’t been in contact for weeks and weeks, so it was a bittersweet day.  

After spending the morning resting and dealing with those emotions, I got ready, went to the doctor, got my shots, and decided on some retail therapy. When in doubt- shopping usually helps!! I made a leisurely trip to the mall to shop for a few needs, and even a few “wants”.  After the ride back home jamming out to the radio (one of my favorite things to do!! I know a little dorky), I had dinner in and a night of reflection.

Earlier in the day, as I was texting my sister, one of my best friends, and my mom, I was encouraged, loved, and energized. Reminded of the relationship I deserve; reminded of the pain I may be by-passing; and reminded that there is a plan for my future, but also my single life.  As shared, I have a desire to ultimately be married. I think marriage is indeed one of the greatest gifts that we humans can be given, if appreciated correctly. And although I feel this way, I do not want to marry just anyone or rush into things for the sake of it. I want it to be right. Passionate. Full. Loving. I want my friendships and relationships to be no more and no less than they should be. I want to love myself, even in those times I fail myself by feeling lonely. I need to remember that God does have a plan for me in this time of singlehood. He has a plan for my future and the man that will be the God-formed partner in this life journey.

I want to share the last text message that my mom sent me. In the past, my mom and I have never been really close, but the past two years, we have really become more than we have ever been. I am so thankful for her wise words, her love, and reflection of Christ that she lives for so many to see. Her wisdom of not putting my emotions of love, etc. away is probably my favorite part, on. This is something personal to me, but something that I think could speak to someone else too.

Right now, I am hoping to try to look at my single life in a different light. I’m so ready for new things, confirmations, and yes, ultimately meeting an amazing man. Who knows........could be anytime.....but until then, I am thankful that I have the love and support of friends and family. I have personality traits that make me that independent, head-strong Sarah that I have always been, and I have my education, a roof over my head, and a vehicle to drive.  I am living in a new place, meeting new people, and experiencing great new things!!! Why should I worry?! I am reminded of the song “Titanium” from a couple years back that my sister told me was the song she thought of about me. I’ll take it! So many things we all go through, and so many things we will continue to go through.

Hi. I’m Sarah. Divorced. Single. Christian. Graduate degree. 27 years old. Full of life. Independent. First-born. Low-Maintenance. My friends and family are very important to me. Love to sing, paint, travel, and try new restaurants. I love music. Can sometimes stink at making decisions. Impatient. Not easily stressed. Drama-free. Looking for real. Appreciates gentlemen. Believes there are such things as “fairy tales”. Can’t wait. Choosing to find my purpose in singlehood. Nice to meet you.

A small blurb for someone’s life is ridiculous and yet refreshing, all at the same time. Think about it. What would yours say? Are you fulfilling your purpose for the season of your life you are in? 

Thanks for letting me share and for just letting me be me.

- S

Peace. Love. Happiness :-)

There are so many things that I feel I could write about, as well as so many things on my mind. I am choosing to write what I am because, the public sharing and scripting of my thoughts and feelings has been found to provide a release and an intimate support, in a weird way J

I have been in GA for a little over six weeks and have had so many amazing, fun, educational, full, scary, nerve-wracking, and exciting moments. And although there are many things that I am going to share about all of the awesome things going on, this post is going to be one that is more real and raw.

The quest for inner peace is one that many of us know the answer to- Christ. What happens when you know this, and feel that you can’t quiet seem to catch a break from those in your life who seem to have the goal of trying to disrupt that inner peace?! The peace that I have in knowing that I am where I’m supposed to be, but yet there are things I want to see so badly some to a resolution or fruition, has been making my head spin a little and my heart somewhat ache.

With that being said.......

My ex-husband and I are still dealing with one last bit of business together of selling our home. This keeps us in random contact every once in a while. Since moving, I have heard from him for emotional outbursts, past hurtful consequences, and drama that he is still keeping in his life. This wears me down!!! This is one of the reasons that I was so ready to get out of the area. I don’t want to run into him, or see him, or have to be the figure in his life that I have always been – a second mother. The most recent conversation was one that ended with me in a fluster!!! Even though this is the case, I can’t help but wish the best for him. As I have explained to a friend, the hopes that I had for us for so long, even after divorce, have just been things that I refuse to get back into, and an attempt to guard my heart.

While in the quest for love while trying to guard my heart, I also found my heart broken not long after moving to GA. This amazing man that I care for so deeply, is in a battle of his own, that he must work through in order for us to have any chance of a future. Because of this, I had to say goodbye. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I still have a naïve hope that it might could still be. At first, I felt nothing. I knew we were probably going to talk, etc., but the past week or two has been really tough on my heart. I miss him. I know he misses me. I had to ask him not to talk to me because it just hurt too much. I’ve realized that I have now had my heart broke for the second time. It’s no fun. Do I still have a hope for this amazing man and I? Yes. But, I also need to stay realistic. I want to be open to new experiences and the love that Christ has in store for me. I want to be the most amazing person I can be in order to receive the most amazing person at the most perfect of times.

I’m hurting but I’m healing; I’m missing my friends, but I’m meeting some really good people; I long to be near my family, but I keep them close through communication and thoughts and prayers; I’m ready for an all-out kind of love, but I’m loving myself more and more.  

Peace- such a simple concept. Love- something we all long for. Peace in the absence of love or love in the absence of peace? Not so sure it’s easy......... These are the things on my mind.....these are the things on my heart........shout out a prayer for me if you think of me! Here’s to an amazing summer of many amazing memories, experiences, and full of peace and love!!!!

Until next time ~ Sarah