Relapse is defined as the following: to go into former state;
the act of returning to previous condition; become ill after apparent recovery.
You may be wondering: “Why relapse?” The answer is this: I
feel as if I am in an emotional relapse of sorts. I ask myself if this is
normal for people who have went through similar things and situations as
myself. I’m not quite sure of the answer.
To be very personal, I have to admit that I am in the middle
of my monthly hormonal swings, but there has been this feeling of something
else.
Almost two years ago, I was diagnosed as suffering from
depression. Me!!?! Someone who wasn’t even sure I believed that depression
could be felt by someone who was following after Christ; someone who didn’t
want to admit that I couldn’t control my world, but someone who did know that I
needed help. It was at the final breaking point and lack of wanting life that I
knew I had to reach out. Many of you may not understand, and that is just it-
you do not understand. After I figured out what was wrong and became more
balanced (through medication, and in life circumstances) I began to really
enjoy life again, and want to live it up to the greatest extent possible!
Several weeks ago, I was sitting in the Dr. office for just
a minor visit, and in the room next to me, I could hear the mumbles of
desperation and my doctor giving encouragement. I am not sure what all was
said, but my spirit knew that there was another young woman who had come for
help. I was taken back to my visit two years earlier, that was full of fear and
that same desperation, and then I was so excited to know where I was at that
time; the life I now love, and the hope that I found through the support of my
doctor, modern medicine, my Lord, my changed environment, and my family and
friends. I am so thankful to Christ for
the work He has done in me!
I say all of this as background information, but also as
reassurance to myself. I know that even though recently I have fallen down into
a “relapse” of sorts, with the emotions of being overwhelmed, incapable, and
just tired of everything all of the time, I know that it is temporary, and that
I have so many supports, and I will get adjusted again and get through this.
Even though in this situation of a relapse of depression or
depressed feelings I might find myself in, I know that because of who my Savior
is, I am able to make it through yet again and recover to the full extent.
If there are any others who deal with discouraging thoughts,
fear, or depression, call out to Christ! Do as much as you know to do, and let
Him do the rest! This link below has several verses and words of encouragement
in dealing with feelings of depression.
Even though I am having these feelings of “emotional
relapse”, I know that these are just passing feelings, and there are solutions
available to me. One day at a time, and one foot in front of the other.......that’s
all that I have to do......and the rest is given to Christ, as I seek His
strength.
Psalms 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
